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Why people fail at speed dating?

The word love has existed on the planet since the early men.
It may be as long as time itself but it’s still a mystery.
People can come-up with new theories about love and support them with facts and logical explanation about how two people fall in love- but there is still a lot to uncover about romantic relationships.

Research shows that people who have long lasting, intimate relationships are happier, healthier and live long.
We human are social animals and this is why we have the cravings for a relationship. No matter how simple this may seem, establishing a happy relationship isn’t that easy.  

Speed Dating- What and How?

Speed dating has revolutionised the way people look for people to establish a relationship with.
It allows you to meet 10 plus people and date them in a short duration of time (usually 2 to 3 hours).
You get to interact each of the participants of opposite sex on a series of small dates usually lasting for 5 to 8 minutes.
Obviously people don’t get their life partner in 5 minutes of interaction. However dating in the fixed time frame can capture the first impression. This serves as the gatekeeper that signals you if you should go further or not.

Speed dating has been successful because most of the times people end up with their potential partners. However the same cannot be said about people who could not make it through the gates of impression.

It might come as a shock to you but usually men turn down more women at speed dating events than women turn down men. Conventionally it is just the opposite in the real world.

Science of Dating- What matters?

A research was conducted on how speed dating works and why do some people fail at it.
Researchers marked the participants on the basis of their physical appearance on the scale of 1 to 10.
However at the end of the event it turned out that physically attractive people (8 to 10) were unsuccessful in getting a date while people with scores (6-7).
So what happened?
Why did physically attractive people fail?

Let’s look at what actually makes a person attracted to another and what keeps them committed to their relationships.
Obviously the first factor that matters is – the person should be attractive.
But as we saw earlier it is not the only factor.
So what is it?

Why dating fails - why do people fail?

Researchers have come up with The Attachment Theory.
According to this, even in adulthood, person’s relationships are influenced by the sense of attachment they had in their early life with their caregiver- usually their mother.

Some people have anxious attachment- they are worried about if the people accept them or worried if they would lose their partners.
It turns out that anxiously attached people are less attractive or appear less attractive in the 5 minutes of making the First Impression.
Highly anxious are less popular. They are submissive, withdrawn, stressed and less confident.

Now that we have figured out why do people fail in dating- we don’t want to keep you hanging. Here are some tips on how you can improve your chances of success at dating –

-  Leave all your worries at home – don’t worry about being accepted or rejected. It’s basically a party- have a good time and fun.

-  Be confident- you won’t feel confidence boosted overnight. It will take practice. Go on to social events, participate and meet new people. Nothing boosts confidence than interacting.

The best way to overcome your anxiety is to think about the person you actually feel attached to.


Conclusion -

Changes don’t happen over time. Mastering the art of dating isn’t rocket science - like every skill it needs practice and consistent.
Follow the above mentioned steps and we assure you- You will surely succeed at the next dating event.
Wish you all the best!!!        

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